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A recent study, published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy and conducted by psychotherapist Teresa Mc Dowell and her research team from Oregon’s Lewis and Clark College, assessed the experiences of eight American couples in which partners self-identified as being from different class backgrounds.

They wanted to see how attitudes about education, work, money, and social capital affected how couples fought.

The couples were predominantly white—one person self-identified as Iranian-American, two as Bosnian—and heterosexual, with one gay male couple and one lesbian couple.

Their ages ranged from early 20s to mid-60s, and couples had been living together anywhere from a year and a half to 43 years. Now that we aren’t generally born into our roles as scullery maids or earls, a wider range of factors contributes to class identity.

From fairy tales to adult films, we are exposed to a repeated idea: that love, or at least lust, crosses class lines.

In fiction, cross-class relationships either end in marriage and happily-ever-after, or else in dissolution and even death. Last year, I set out to answer this question by interviewing college-educated men and women who had married partners from different class backgrounds, for my book Most of the time, couples’ recognition of their different pasts was acknowledged in little more than a comment about their father’s job or a lavish family vacation.

I (51F) am terrified of the idea of letting untreated mental illness ruin his life, how do I get him to seek help?

Now he is back, and he is suffering from PTSD but refuses to seek help or admit he has problems.

When it comes to attitudes about work, Streib draws some particularly interesting conclusions about her research subjects.

She finds that people who were raised middle-class are often very diligent about planning their career advancement.

People from different social classes have different ways of acting -- similar to a culture -- that can take time to understand.

If your boyfriend has enough family money to buy designer clothing, drive his own sports car and apply to dozens of colleges, while you are flipping burgers at the local hamburger joint to scrape together enough money to attend the local community college, you may have trouble seeing eye to eye.




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I was married once before, to a man five years my senior.