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I started to wonder if I could apply some of my triathlon training to other parts of life. ) And trial and error is a heartbreaking way to learn when emotions are involved. Ever since since the triathlon last August, I have applied 8 principles that I learned from my triathlon training to my dating life: Motivate. Don’t just keep doing the same thing for six months and then realize you’re headed for a dead-end. Don’t jump straight to the 1,000-meter swim or the hard stuff on the first date. You’ll be glad you didn’t strain that muscle later.

After all, dating for me is goal-driven: I want a life partner. Practice doesn’t make perfect, but it did raise my hopes of success. Take time regularly to think about why you’re doing this, and to determine whether you’re seeing other people with goals that are compatible with yours. Come up with mini-goals that work for you and do something every day that gets you where you want to go, like starting or continuing a conversation on a dating app once a day. Take a day off once in a while to recover and rebuild your center so you don’t get completely consumed by this one goal. That’s all the energy I can commit to an effort as big as dating. Get a coach, or solicit advice from people who have successfully done this before. Completing a triathlon was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

Yet I’ve applied only a fraction of the discipline to my dating life that I apply to physical training. After the get-to-know-you’s, the question I often pose on dating apps is: What do you hope to get out of this? Don’t run yourself into a wall by becoming single-minded about your goal and losing the big picture. If you want to get married eventually, look to married couples who went through a process similar to yours. But dating is probably harder because it takes even more endurance.

A really good exercise is getting someone with expertise to watch you do your thing, whether it’s flirting or texting. If you find someone you enjoy spending time with, celebrate that in the short-term. I measure my triathlon success by the fact that I finished.

Take a second to imagine yourself as the ultimate sportswoman.

As you complete the 2.4-mile leg of your latest Ironman Triathlon, the salty waves crashing over your head, your body starts to setting into a comfortable rhythm…

It became a daily framework and began to overlap with the rest of my life. I wasn’t about to drown, but six months before my race, I was still just flailing around. And deep conversations about your hopes and dreams in life.

Which, if I’m being honest, is also a fair summary of my dating life. Personally, it’s hard for me to take a step back once I’m emotionally, physically or even intellectually invested.

VICTOR of the Crondall Triathlon for the past three years, endurance athlete Hélène Rossiter has qualified to compete in the World Ironman Championship held in Kona, Hawaii, in October 2017.

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