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As long as people open to the possibility of something serious, there is no real difference in long-term relationship quality for couples who started out by having sex fast and casually, compared to those who "dated and waited."As Professor Anthony Paik, the study's author, put it: "The research suggests that rewarding relationships are possible for those who delay sex.This paper would suggest not really, because it doesn't screen out the nonromantic types."What's more — as Paik reported in a study he released earlier this year — anyone involved in a "friendship with benefits" is more at risk for getting an STD than someone who has sex only in a monogamous relationship.So — despite the fact that casual sex turn into a serious relationship — I still don't recommend having it.Not that that’s necessarily what you want—and if you’re getting laid and happy about it, more power to you.But if what you’re looking for is an actual relationship that might lead to something like a lifetime (or at least long-term) partnership, you’d be wise to arm yourself with ways to help you sift through all the dudes you meet, date, and sleep with, and focus on the ones with real relationship potential. I’m not saying you should go all and start playing hard to get, but you can save yourself a ton of time and energy that might otherwise be spent seeing emotionally unavailable, immature, incompatible, or game-playing men by using a few smart tactics.




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This being Wisconsin, we even have a weird, German-like word for this feeling of being in a cozy crowd, eating and drinking, and just being accepted the way you are: “gemütlichkeit.” Look it up.


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